Best pre-race instructions ever

I received an email from Dick Kearn, the organiser of the Grand Union Canal Run, yesterday telling us we had just 2 days to decide whether we can run in 4 weeks time after that we would not get a refund. We were informed of what would happen if we did not wear our number to the front:

"... If anyone should waste my time by trying to argue the case for wearing a number other than described above, they will be shot and their body dumped in the canal... "

Oohh eeerrr we have been warned :-)