Monkey Hole

During a run with my barefoot running Guru, Bhundu, last week I was telling him how happy I was that my Monkey Feet were holding out so well having done over 500 miles with soles looking good and the uppers in equally good condition. The Guru inhaled and uttered "You find that holes can appear just here," and he pointed to the inner side of the big toe " it's the mud you see."

So the other day I had a look at my Monkey Feet a little closer...lo and behold a small hole has appeared in the material which has caused me a whole lot of angst as I am now hunting around trying to find a good way of repairing it by way of:

1. Not causing any rubbing to my toe
2. Glue? or No Glue?
3. Material patch

Out to the camping/outdoors shop tomorrow to see what they have that could be of use

1,000 miles and still going

I have been a little distracted this week what with one thing and another but tonight after a set piece 10 mile trail run I sat down to update my running diary and see that I passed 1,000 miles (1,600 km) for the year last Tuesday  which puts me well on target for another 2,000 mile year. 

No wonder my quads feel like they have been battered with a baseball bat!

Night Run report

Saturday night was a scheduled Night Run with only a few participants invited as I was aware that there were a few local races and various injuries being nursed.

The plan was to run about 8 miles interspersed with a few local ghost stories a pint of cider at the halfway mark and a gentle amble up the hill back to the car. Well this was the plan at the start!!!

Emma, Karien and I started off the run in daylight and being the day after 21st June it was expected so it was a safe and gently paced run to the pub where we recounted a few tales and enjoyed the late evening drinking cool pints. As we left the pub for the return home the ladies contacted their husbands telling them they were safe and well and about to get back to the car. So with a hard climb to the top of the scarp above Shoreham I mentioned to the other two whether they would like to take another route.... 

ALARM BELLS RANG IN THE DISTANCE

and they agreed to take an alternative route around an old military research facility, you know the type, barbed wire, 12 foot high fences and security patrols in woods with no street lighting; what could possibly could go wrong?

As we stumbled along the fence line I saw track go straight on and the fence duck right, "If memory serves me right, it is this way" pointing down the hill

 ALARM BELLS RANG IN THE DISTANCE

We ran/walked down the very sharp decline past more barbed wire and found ourselves at the bottom of the scarp again, "Let's go up here" I shout

ALARM BELLS RANG IN THE DISTANCE

Turning in an industrial estate cut into the chalk cliff I remembered that in fact we should have turned right and followed the fence! Turning around we clambered up the hill again, I feeling full of beans but I suspect the other two probably cursing my very presence.

I was a little disappointed with my decisions so when we got to the fence again we had a chat and we decided together that we should continue around and not retrace so we did.

ALARM BELLS RANG IN THE DISTANCE 

As we clambered and bumped along we finally came out on a hillside which during the day would have presented a fantastic view but in the dark it was an amazing sight of twinkling sodium lamps and zooming cars on the motorway far below. We chose to clamber down the escarpment over rutted badger dens and ancient warrens to a gate and a road which I knew went directly to the car, just up a very steep and long hill

A CHOIR OF ANGELS BLEW HERALDIC TRUMPETS IN THE DISTANCE

So with a new found energy the three of us ran/power walked the hill, Karien talking of the burger waiting for her back at home and I silently thinking of a glass of cider.

There it was, the car and with it laughter and me apologising profusely about my rubbish decisions but we were safe if a little tired.

Was it 8 miles I here you ask Dear Reader? My arse it was, it was 11 miles in the end!

From Chaos Theory to Gravel to Broccoli

It is incredible what subjects get talked about on a run, the long run comprises much longer tales from happy happenings to dastardly deeds a work colleague has done as time is on your hands. The shorter run however, comes in fits and starts with fleeting comments.

Take this evening for example, my legs were feeling tired, my feet a little tender such that the Monkey Feet were given a night off and I was seen putting a pair of socks and a pair of trail shoes...the first time I had worn running shoes in 27 days and it felt, well, it just felt weird.

I was out of the house and I felt rubbish immediately, legs ached, breathing was hard and then I realised I was pushing the pace too much so pulled off and just went out to enjoy the evening. I then remembered that there was a training session at the club so thought I would potter down there and watch the guys go through their paces (not join in mind you but just have a laugh look).

As it ended I saw a few of the usuals and one of the ladies, Karien, a neighbour of mine, asked if I was running back towards home. I jumped at the chance as I was looking for some company so we zoomed off but poor old Karien was then embroiled in my over-enthusiasm as I asked if we could take a different route home [read as longer than she expected]. In that short run we covered:

• Broccoli
• Local environmental bye-laws
• Chaos Theory
• Bad managers
• Shrek and his Swamp, and
• the locals gallows

Wow, who said running was boring?

Put your boys back in the barracks!

Logistics in the household are always slightly strained on Tuesday evenings and tonight was no different such that the Delightful Mrs S volunteered to drive me to my second club as she needed the car and knew that I really wanted to run with them at the annual "Chevening Run" a brilliant 12.5 mile (~21km) trail run from Orpington and down the scarp to Chevening on the North Downs then back again.....ending with a very cold cider in the pub.

In a mad panic trying to find my kit I chucked on a shirt, a pair of shorts and my Monkey Feet but then remembered tradition dictated that I had to where my Union Flag Shorts. The weather being hot I didn't fancy wearing lycra shorts under them so decided to cut the exposed elastic out of the inner pant (which is ripped). Happy with my quick DIY job on the shorts I jumped into the car and we drove off.

As we drove off Mrs S pointed down to my waist area and said "The boys need to be back in their barracks!" and looking down I found I was exposing just a little too much of my privates which were happily lying on the car seat! Time to be careful, especially whilst clambering over stiles

Weather was hot this evening, in fact perfect for running over the downs with 50 or so other runners but I have realised that I am probably not totally recovered from GUCR quite yet finding it hard going on the up hills preferring to take it gently and walk in parts to prevent strains or unnecessary injuries.

Then to return back to the start watching a beautiful sunset over the North Downs Way to finish off for an unexpected [very] cold cider in the pub, perfect.

I name this race

There are many things I have been called in my life but there are very few [read as none] where I have had something named after me.....yes ME!

Some of my Dear Readers will remember my escapades in Hanover when the amazing Christian Hottas completed his 2000^th marathon and I was there to witness along with other runners from around the world.

Well Christian continues his onslaught with marathons and ultras being completed at a rate of 2-3 a week and then I spy something strange....

M/U # 2016 – Hamburg (Teichwiesen) – Jeremy Smallwood Marathon am 12.06.2013 

(link to blog here)

What's this "The Jeremy Smallwood Marathon?" surely not but the date confirmed it, Christian had created a marathon to commemorate my birthday and I am proud to say that there were three competitors and there was a winner.

Awesome...so what is you claim to fame Dear Reader?

When running through...

...fields of wild buttercups and giant daisies wearing Monkey Feet a.k.a. Vibram TrekSports you have to accept that your toes will become adorned with said flowers!

This picture was taken from the internet but it was getting a little silly at one point as it looked just like this.

...and then as I ran through a field of mown grass I likened them to a camouflaged sniper running with half a bail of hay on each Monkey Foot.

All very silly today

Monkeys, Cats and cakes

I had a plan last night to go for a night run recce but finding no takers I decided to call it off preferring the comfort of the sofa and the television. I was pleased however to hear that my mate Liz was up for a run on Sunday morning, I am often amused by my running friends as they often "grumble" that when they go running with me I always seem to add extra miles to the end of it, normally about 10%. The initial messages went:

 

Liz: "Early doors say 6.30 - 7. Need to get decent miles in but slow pace."

Me: "Suits me, can I pick you up at 6.45am very sedate, you call the mileage."

Liz: "14 ish, you okay to plan route."

Me: "Wow 14, can do that and will plan route now, see you then." 

Liz: "If too optimistic maybe go for 10 with option to add in? See you in morning."

I must add that I said "Wow" because I was pleased Liz had kept her miles up 

So now I am really confused as I know Liz of old that when she says 14, she really means 16 and if she says 10 she really means 12 because she knows I sometimes add miles so chose to make it about 13 miles and call it safe and then add a little loop if we needed it.

Cats and Monkeys

Elmer

Today there was a definite theme going through the run....cats and animals in general. Liz and I are best described as "Cat People" the sort of people that when we retire we will have a house full of cats and have a slight smell of cat pee about us when we are in the shops buying food for them. So as we set off at the agreed "slow pace" and after the usual chatter about holidays and running the subject of cats came up as it normally does but then we found ourselves passing an animal sanctuary which saw us stop and lean on a fence laughing at the antics of the goats therein and then the promise of a trip to the local cat sanctuary where I wanted to see if my old mate Elmer lived. So making a small detour we found ourselves leaning on another fence surrounded by santuary cats all suspicious of the new lycra clad entertainment.

Then after a few minutes we moved off, this time with the important intention of getting a coffee and cake at the famous Cake... shop where we managed to get in before official opening time and have a well deserved rest after about 13 miles of running (and resting on gateposts).

The last mile or so was very sedate as our breakfast slopped about inside but we were happy with the relaxed run and the opportunity to catch up on the news

Feeling down

 The last few days I have felt really down and emotionless, I have been asked whether it is a downer from the GUCR but I don't think it is. In these moods I become introspective, mind spinning over and over, sleep disturbed and not suffering fools gladly. My stubbed toe has not helped seeing me limping around the place and then having to pull out of Sweeping duties at the South Downs Way 100...35 miles is just too much for a swollen foot. It is times like this that strangely I become more creative possibly my mind trying to find an escape and my need to latch onto something as a distraction but in danger of becoming obsessive.

This week saw me totally frustrated by the purchase of an extremely expensive mapping system at work that whilst powerful was very slow such that it could extend a call centre's phone call by 4 minutes. I decided that in my morose mood to prove I could build an alternative using Open Source data (read as free)  and my IT skills...I did and if implemented could save thousands of pounds over a year. I should be excited but I am not. 

Plan is to run on Saturday at some point, in fact I may go for a night run recce just to escape.

Stubbed Toe

The opportunity of going out with the running club was calling to me on Tuesday evening and so armed with my Monkey feet I charged through the woods to the club. Still be very cautious about my speed at the moment I chose a reasonably paced group that promised to go mainly off road around the usual paths of the local woods and nature reserve.

I am not a great lover of pack running with a lot of inexperienced runners so I positioned myself near the front so I could get a good view of the path and to keep away from runners who have a habit of getting too close. Then it happened:

STUMP

 and I felt myself stumble when my big toe stubbed a massive root which was obscured by another runner who did not call it through. Eye watering stuff as I continued on for the next 6.5 miles grumbling to anyone who was in earshot that I thought I had hurt my toe quite  badly.

Looking at it today, it is swollen, bright red and hurts when I walk on it after sitting down for a while, I am not a happy bunny as it looks like my run will be off on Saturday if this does not clear up soon as I don't fancy 50-60kms with a bruised toe....ggrrrrr

Monkey Run x 2

Tonight's run was always going to be a special one as it was going to be when two Monkey Feet runners joined up for a gentle run in the sunshine. For tonight Duncan (a.k.a Bhundu ) had planned a 6 mile run both wearing our Vibrams, I planned to run totally minimalist with just shorts, shirt and MFs, no GPS, watch or phone. So at the allotted time I ran up the road and as I turned into Duncan's road I was amused to see that he was waiting at the end of his garden path with his 3 boys all running around him all in bare feet....it transpires they were all waiting for his wife to return from the shops.

Then it occurred to me there were 5 of us in bare feet (well 2 of us in Vibrams) and I have had to now work out the collective noun for Monkeys, Troop, cartload, mission, tribe or my favourite as we were going off road was a Wilderness. Waving our farewells we jogged up the road, the two boys leading the way and I am still amazed that they were going at quite a pace and unphased by the concrete pavement beneath them...incredible.

Turning the boys back the two of us went for our usual style of choosing a path at will with no plan only that Duncan was not to do more than 6 miles as he was recovering from his knee injury but we tried our best to keep off the road as best as possible and were even seen "trespassing" through a livery stables to get back on track when we found our route blocked by chest height stinging nettles. Then it was out in to the nature reserve and across to our local woods.

I love this style of running...just go for it and see what comes out at the other end, calling out we had done 4.5 miles we pointed ourselves in the direction of home and were amazed that as we turned onto Duncan's path we had run 5.9 miles...true to our word that no more than 6.

Great run, thanks Duncan.

What a drag!

A window of opportunity arose in the Smallwood household, a Twilight Zone, a down time when everyone is absorbed in their own little world. This is the time when I can disappear for an hour and sometimes they don't even know I have gone.

So Monkey Feet on and just a pair of shorts and a shirt ( I am still using Injinji liners due to the sore toe) I went for a cheeky little run but soon found myself dragging my sorry arse up the first hill...this did not bode well showing I haven't quite recovered. I used this as an excuse to drop by my barefoot pal, Duncan, to catch up on some news and then left feeling a bit better about myself such I changed my plans and decided to get in to the local woods and enjoy the shade of the trees.

Phew, I felt better now and in the shade began to enjoy my run and felt as though I was no longer dragging myself around. What was very noticeable in the woods today was the overpowering scent of garlic which grows in large patches at various parts of the wood but today it was almost heady, all invading.

Back home I have come to realise that I am being sensible and should keep it that way until my legs and body catch up which should be a few more days so will keep the mileage down to hobby running levels for the time being.

Dumbo's Magic Feather

Dumbo's Story (in part)

After a failed attempt as an acrobat in the circus the ring master makes him a clown falling into vats of pie filling which you would agree is not the job of an aspiring flying elephant and such Dumbo is miserable. To cheer him up, Timothy Q Mouse takes him to visit his mother but on their return journey Dumbo starts to cry and gets the hiccups. Timothy Q takes him for a drink of water from a bucket which, unknown to them, has accidentally had a bottle of champagne knocked into it. As a result, Dumbo and Timothy both become drunk and see hallucinations of pink elephants.

The next morning, Dumbo and Timothy wake up in a tree. Timothy wonders how they got up in the tree, and concludes that Dumbo flew up there using his large ears as wings. With the help of a group of crows, Timothy is able to get Dumbo to fly again, using a psychological trick of a "magic feather" to boost his confidence.

And to tonight's run

I was desperate for a run tonight and against all standing opinion and my better judgement threw caution to the wind and decided to go minimalist, after all their last run out was 2 weeks ago. I say minimalist if you accept a pair of Injinji liner socks with the addition of two sticking plasters (to protect my little pinkies) is minimalist but I think you can forgive me just for tonight.

I had no intentions of being stupid, this run was for my head not my body and I just wanted to enjoy the freedom of the woods in the early evening away from the humdrum of city life. No pressure, gentle jog, that is until I saw two runners ahead of me....then the runner in me came out....Gotta catch 'em, gotta catch 'em... but as I closed in I realised it was Donna (from the club) and her husband Alan, I relaxed as now we could run together for a few miles and just enjoy the evening for a few miles.

Secretly, Donna is a good runner, she just doesn't realise it....I think it is a confidence thing so I think it rather poignant tonight that I found a lone feather on the woodland floor and handed it to her telling her it was "Dumbo's Feather"......the intention was there [Then I realised I had used an elephant comparison metaphor to a woman in front of her husband, but I know they enjoyed seeing me squirm as I dug myself out of a hole :-)]

Donna's Magic Feather

I am assured by Donna that it did in fact speed her up...there, I proved it, Magic Feathers boost your confidence

Cry 'God for Harry, England, and Saint George!'

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;

Or close the wall up with our English dead.

In peace there's nothing so becomes a man

As modest stillness and humility:

But when the blast of war blows in our ears,

Then imitate the action of the tiger;

Stiffen the sinews summon up the blood,

Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage;

Apologies for the Shakespeare Dear Reader but I have this singing through my head all this morning after I made the brave (or foolish depending on your viewpoint) to enter the Winter 100 2013 which has this tag line:

 "100 mile winter trail run taking in the Ridgeway and Thames Path National trails. Race comprised of 4 x 25 mile out and back spurs. Total Climb: 3,840ft. Date: 30th November 2013."

As some of you know I was the Sweeper at the Winter 100 in 2012 and thoroughly loved it due to its extreme nature with horizontal rain, wind and mud. I just did about 45 miles of it at night but I am totally up to doing the full course this year. Something to aim for methinks

 Henry V Act 3 Scene 1

Monkey Feet Magic

I had made a promise to the Delightful Mrs S that after my rather self-indulgent weekends of late to crack on with domestic projects and shift my concentration away from the trail. So like any husband I choose my battles wisely and happily went about ripping out some old skirting boards, some remedial plastering and began to cut new boards for attachment.

Whilst doing the works my mind wandered off to the possibility of a short run on Sunday and looked forward to getting the Monkey Feet out for an airing as they would be less pressure on my sore little toes which had blood-blistered at the GUCR last week but were drying out nicely. My crouching and clambering told me that although a little still they would probably hold out for a run.

So this evening I thought I better check my theory out and so putting on my new Injinji liners I then put on my Monkey Feet and tried them out in the garden.....hhhmmmm not great but they would be OK for a short run. So returning to the house I sat down pulled my Monkey Feet off and then YANKED my socks off.....

As if my Monkey Magic I looked down at my little toe of my left foot and noticed it was just a little pinker than usual and then saw that the toenail had come clean off....gone, departed, quit. Fishing around my sock I found it, dry as a bone and my toe just fine......and there was me thinking it was Monkey Magic. I may try it on the right toe now and see if it happens again.